Speak Up

I’m having a silent-mode portion at this moment. I just realized that I’m starting to contemplate on saving my voice for the benefit of mankind, which is quite outrageous, since it’s impossible if I never even utter a word. I was kidding on the latter. Thus my ultimate realization is to start speaking before it’s too late. Speaking, I believe, is one perfect medium to clearly express your self towards other people, to get your thought across, and be understood. Of all things unworldly things, I’m finding it hard to speak up.

Regard me then as one of those silent-types confined on the far corners of the classroom or some-kind of weirdo hidden in a crowd. You then perceive another foreign creature having no thoughts, no voice and there is no need to ask for.

Right here, right now, I’d like to disapprove that I am a silent type. Though I talk less than I have to, my mind is swarmed with a potpourri of thoughts waiting (or dying I suppose) to be heard!

Tell you what, I have a burning proposition on our class presentation, I have a great idea to ace our group’s project, I have an opinion regarding the worsening situation of the earth and don’t you know? I can speak loud and clear in front of a crowd.

Do you hear me now?

When I was in grade school, I already experienced speaking in public by becoming an emcee on one of our school programs. It was lots of fun with the fact that I get to wear a nice outfit and speak on the microphone and have tons of people listen to every word I say. I didn’t know what stage fright was back then and all I want to do was speak.

My high school was an exhilarating but atrocious chapter. Yes, high school, the considered fun part of school. You get to be a real lady (or gentlemen for the concerned) and make an incredible transition of your personality. You become who you really are and become inclined on proving your worth. It was in high school when my passion for speaking dimmed like an old light bulb. It was painful to see that the talent I have looked in to was going, going gone. Later on my high school, I joined a speaker’s bureau hoping to rejuvenate my passion once again. Fortunately, I was able to speak again in public but it wasn’t the same anymore.

Now I’m in college, I stepped into a new world where everything seems to be completely different. I’ve already met rebels, weirdos, geeks, blabbermouths, critics, strangers, singers, martyrs, bookworms and whichever genre you could think of. Each sort seems to have their own world leaving me seeking for my own perfect new place to fit in and feel belonged. With such, I became a lot more silent. The urge to speak with my mind open just keeps wilting. I’ve been devoured by the new people around me who speak extremely loud, set aside the others who also want to speak their mind. Having my mouth kept shut all the time is frustrating. Everyday, I desired to be heard.

To pull myself from such weariness of not being able to express myself, I started to scribble again. I never threw away my love for writing. Since high school, it became my other field when I never get to speak much. When I’d grab a pen, I am able to express all my thoughts, feelings and everything there is on a piece of paper. It’s simply infinite freedom, no boundaries, no chains, unclothed. Writing became another channel for me to speak up.

I’m speaking already.

There are billions of people in this world but only a faction can speak their minds out. These people are merely dominated by huge voices so they tend to keep their own thoughts which perhaps could have become something far more sensible than what huge dominating voices have to blab about. Each of us has the right to speak our minds out adn we should make use of that right. There are low voices that the majority tends to ignore and little do we know about their infectious influence which could result to a tremendous change to our society today.

Here I am still trying to speak up amongst the crowd until every one of them can hear what I have to say. Wish me luck.